Eeuwig duurde nog geen dag
Maar mijn dagen duurde eeuwig

Geen eind en geen begin
Ik ben ze verloren
In de loop der tijden

Ook al duurt eeuwig nog één dag
Mijn dag duurt toch wel eeuwig

The storm is coming closer
every day
I can feel the wild winds
blow my mind
In ways i never expected

The clouds are gathering
in the sky
Daylight's fading slowly
in my mind
I'm preparing for the rain

I hope my fortress
is strong enough

the sun shines bright
yet i don't see her
my window view
shows nothing
but rain

the summer's here
yet i don't feel it
the freezing cold
has devoured
my heart

i live an endless winter




old poem of mine... I'm happy now. All lovey-dovey with my new sweetie :)

Found some old poetry of mine... Here we go:

i sit and wonder
what went wrong
didn't expect this
to happen to us

my hopes and dreams
all torned apart
ripped away and died
my fear and hate
all that remained
behind my face i hide

can it be that time
sometimes stops
just for a second,
or all days to come?

my hopes and dreams
all torned apart
ripped away and died
my fear and hate
all that remained
behind my face i hide

my heart's gone numb
my thoughts empty
pain is all i feel
to me you have died.

RIPPED

ripped out of time and place
cornered in a little space
only fear on my face

tear me apart
rip my soul
into pieces

ripped out of hart and mind
mistakes of the worst kind
never to be left behind

tear me apart
rip my life
into pieces

MASQUERADE

de donkere dieptes
van de ziel
verborgen achter
een eindeloze masquerade

verborgen fantasie
van een ziel
verdorven zonden
gestolen in het holst van de nacht

hartbrekend haat
voor die ziel
verboden woorden
in de stilte zachtjes gesproken

mystieke masquerade
van míjn ziel
verloren gevoel
achter míjn masker kan ik rusten

You say you've changed
I think you're still the same
Empty words
Full of meaning

Just for once
Look in your mirror
And tell me who you see
Is your reflection
Who you want to be?

You say you're hurting
I think you're just addicted
To the pain
Of feeling good

Just for once
Look in your mirror
And tell me who you see
Is your reflection
Who you want to be?

You say you feel lost
I think you're just running
From the truth
From all the lies

never thought
i'd lose myself
again
never felt
so lost and hurt
before

because of you,
i lost my heart,
because of you,
i lost my mind

without you,
my heart was lost,
without you,
no love was blind

never thought
that i could give
myself
never felt
so much love
before

but you were gone
before i could even
touch you
just as fast
as you came
you had to leave

Perhaps i shouldn't say it,
but sometimes I feel like screaming
Perhaps I shouldn't bother
but sometimes I feel like crying
Perhaps my stories bore you
but sometimes I just have to tell

That I'm lonely
and I'm cold
That I'm desperate
and unsure
That I'm sorry
and in pain

I know you don't like to listen
but you're the only one I want to tell
I know you hate confrontations
but you're the only one I want to fight
I know you really hate to listen
and that you hate to see me cry

When I'm lonely
and I'm cold
When I'm desperate
and unsure
When I'm down and
feeling blue
When I'm sorry
and in pain
When I'm crying
all in vain
When I'm praying
for the rain

It's funny how you can care so much about a person, while that person doesn't even seem to care about you. I never ask for a lot of help from my friends, some of them may think I should do that more, but anyways... I did ask for a little help/support/someone to comfort me yesterday. But he was going to an afterparty at friends. Okay, I said. Fine. And he wanted to meet me for lunch to talk. Fine. Love to. But then 2 oçlock came and no word from him. I finally managed to get hold of him about 2 hours ago. He was fucked up. And the worst part is, I was there every single time he needed me, but somehow, he's never there for me. *starts singing*: "Your love is like bad medicine, bad medicine is what i need..." He's leaving the country soon. And I don't want him to leave with all those unsolved issues there are between us. but anyways... Poetry I wrote last sunday:

LINES

There's a thin line
between love and hate
and we must have
crossed it a million times

as I face another day
I pray for you to stay
but you've already gone
without a word

there's a thin line
and i feel like falling
I feel too weak
even though you think I'm fine

And as I face another day
I pray for you to stay
but you've already gone
without a trace

my strength is fading
my hope is failing
and as despair kicks in
and as my lights fade out
and as my heart lies bleeding
and as my tears are cried
and as my words are said
I fall

But still I face another day
even though you didn't stay
and you're already gone
I'll be fine


[Ahhh i'm gonna turn that into a song!!!]

after a very 'inspirational' night at the cave last saturday, i came home with lots of little notes with ideas for poems. I kinda worked them out and finished them, so here we go!

NO ESCAPE

there's no escape from the pain
no miracle cure
to heal my wounded heart

there's no escape from myself
no lost way out
to save my tired soul

VERWARRING

ik weet niet wat ik wil
my words won't rhyme anymore
jeg føler meg dårlig
lost and all alone
ik weet niet wat ik wil

DAYLIGHT

you say you hate the night
the dark makes you feel unsafe
but it's the light of day you should fear

never mind the darkness
your secrets are safe with me
'cause it's the light of day you should fear

VERWARRING (2)

totale chaos
en verwarring
je zegt het een
maar wil het ander

onbegrip
en vaag gezeik
je wil het een
maar doet het ander

waarom snap je niet
dat ik het niet meer snap?

the softest embrace
is the deadliest sin
for heart and mind fight
but which one shall win?

omgeven door de tranen
van een huilende hemel
vind ik eindelijk mijn rust
in de armen van de nacht

kill me
thrill me
fullfill me

haunt me
want me
enchant me

make me
break me
and wake me

but please don't waste me

Maar even geen gedichtje van mijzelf, omdat ik compleet inspiratieloos ben. Maar wel de tekst van een liedje van Norah Jones (What am I to you). Gewoon, omdat ik het me afvraag... What am I to you?


What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Fast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so

If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin' true
What am I to you

Yeah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
Never wanna part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies

I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin' true
What am I to you
What am I to you
What am I to you

de storm
is voorbij

de regen
is gestopt

de wind
waait niet meer

de storm is voorbij
maar in mij
woedt ze nog steeds
heftiger dan ooit

met lege armen
sta ik
tervergeefs
te wachten

wachtend op een
teken
van jouw kant
dat niet komt

met lege armen
sta je
tervergeefs
te wachten

wachtend op een
antwoord
dat je nooit
zal horen

alles wat ik wilde horen
was alles wat je zei

je weet het niet meer,
zeg je

maar je weet het wel,
denk ik

alles wat je niet wilde horen,
was alles wat ik zei

en ik had gelijk.

wonden helen
en littekens
vervagen

vergeven en
vergeten is
mogelijk

maar ik denk dat
dit keer
alles niet zo
gemakkelijk kan gaan

maar ik denk dat
dit keer
alles niet zo
gemakkelijk zal gaan

waarom doet het pijn
als ik denk
aan jou
met haar

waarom breekt mijn hart
door alles
wat jij
mij zei

Ik was
naief
dom
goedgelovig

en verliefd.

Ik heb in een melige bui via de msn met een vriendin, Emmeline, een gedicht geschreven. Een heel slijmerig liefdesgedicht. Maar toch ben ik er lekker trots op. Ik kan namelijk in mijn eentje geen liefdesgedichten schrijven. Maar hier volgt het gedicht dan he... (wel in het engels):

a field of flowers for my dear

as we softly walked in the fields of black flowers
under a moonlit sky
stars softly collided

we walked through the fields dreaming and wishing
the night to last an eternity

the harshness of the sun and fake mask of daylight
couldn't harm us, sheltered
by the dark of the night

the night takes us far, where no-one can find us
we feel alive, free to live and love

safely in eachothers arms
we stay up all night
promising never to leave

we'll count the stars and sing sweet songs of loves lost and found
all that matters is
that you're the only one

we only need eachother, nothing more or less
if you'd leave, i would die in your arms

If you'd leave i'd never get over you, i would die
die of loneliness
longing for your arms

when we die, we shall meet again in heaven
spending forever in fields of black

dreaming in eachothers arms
finally i rest
knowing you will be there

no more worry or doubt, we're all that matters
no more fear or pain
we alone matter

in heavens fields we'll love forever
nothing can tear us apart now

we shall build our castle upon a hill so high
no-one will get in
we shall hurt no more

in our house we'll live of love and hope
until the day death comes for us

sleeping in eachothers arms
never to wake and
never to leave those arms

upon a heaven's cloud so soft we shall wait
for the end of all
together forever

untill the end of days we shall love
in a field of black flowers

Dat wat ooit zo
belangrijk
en groot
leek

was gekrompen
naar een klein
zinloos
punt